Ronan's birth story

On the morning of the day when I was exactly 4 weeks overdue, I finally woke up in labor.

Since my due date I'd had many nights where I woke up to vague cramps, mild contractions, and even the occasional strong contraction. The early morning of December 10th felt much the same until 4:04 am, when a serious contraction was finally followed by a few more. They were irregular but I went ahead and woke Derek up at 4:40. As I laid there talking to him, another contraction made me move onto my hands and knees as I breathed through it. That one convinced us both. After a very long wait, we were going to have our baby today!

As Derek took some time to wake up and get ready, I went upstairs to the computer and wrote a quick note to let my friends know what was going on. So many people had been thinking of us and waiting for news. Now I finally had some news to share! While I was upstairs the contractions were still coming but were irregular in length, strength, and timing. Shortly after 5:00 I went back downstairs and found Derek making the bed. I helped him and realized that I wasn't really getting a break between contractions. Each contraction had a definite peak which faded away, but I had a constant crampy pain that wasn't going away in between. I mentioned how I felt to Derek and he wisely decided to call our midwife, my mom, and my sister. It was 5:15.

Derek asked what I wanted to do next, and I decided that a hot shower would feel good. He started the water and I spent a moment lighting my lavendar birth candle and looking at my two birth necklaces, one put together with special beads from friends and one that a friend had worn during her own beautiful birth. Then we quickly took a few last pregnancy pictures before I got in--I figured I would be naked for the rest of the labor, and soon it would get too intense to take pictures anyway. After the first picture Derek suggested I try to smile, and I told him he should try smiling while having contractions!

By now I was tired of waiting to get into the shower and the contractions were picking up in intensity. I had begun quietly moaning through them. I got into the shower, where I labored standing up, leaning my head against the wall and swaying my hips back and forth. Sometimes I had the water running over my front and sometimes my back. It felt wonderful but all too soon I began to run out of hot water. It was 5:40, so I focused on being able to get back in the shower at 6:00 when the hot water heater was full again. 

I tried sitting on the birth ball in our bedroom, but as soon as I sat down and a contraction began, I knew that position wouldn't work for me. I moved back into the bathroom and spent the rest of my 20 minutes either leaning on the counter or sitting on the toilet. At this point the doubts were going through my mind--why had I wanted to do this again? (I even asked my husband if we could talk about a vasectomy now!) And I also asked myself why I had thought laboring and birthing at home was so great. But the reality of leaving home or getting medications never sounded appealing--they were just fleeting thoughts. I was beginning to get very hot and light-headed, and I knew from my previous labors that all of these things were signs of transition. Derek got me a paper bag to breathe into to help with the dizziness, and soon I got back into the shower.

I realized that I didn't have the strength to labor standing up any more, so I sat on the shower floor on a towel. The most comfortable position was "W sitting" with my legs folded out on either side of me and my pelvis low and open. I alternated this with sitting cross-legged whenever my legs threatened to fall asleep. However I was sitting, I leaned forward and rested my head and arms on the shower seat, and Derek put counterpressure on my back while moving the spray of hot water around my body. He did this to keep me warm, but it also gave me something interesting to focus on--following the moving path of water on my body distracted me somewhat from the intense contractions which were coming one on top of another now.

My sister arrived and came in to see how I was doing. I told her, "This isn't very fun." "No?" she replied. "Nope, not so much," I said. When my midwife arrived she asked where we wanted her, and I said it didn't matter to me. Derek and I had talked with her before about our hopes that this would be a very private labor and birth, and that we wanted to do everything on our own with her as a "lifeguard" who would jump in if needed. So she joined my sister and my mom in the living room downstairs. 

The shower ran out of hot water again around 6:30. I told Derek to spread out the vinyl tablecloth and some chux on our bedroom floor so I could get in the same "W sitting" position and rest my head and arms on the birth ball. While he was doing that, I leaned against the bathroom counter and moaned very loudly through a contraction. It was harder to cope without the water! I settled down on the bedroom floor and Derek left to turn up the heat and get me more juice. My sister poked her head in to ask me how I was doing and a huge contraction began. All I could say was, "I need Derek now!" The pressure was changing and I heard my moaning turn into a grunting huh-huh-huh. I was dripping sweat against the birth ball and working very hard now. It seemed like it took Derek forever to return to my side.

After just another contraction or two I felt my water break. As intense as everything was, I was still in a calm mental state and I was able to say, "My water just broke" and then a moment later, "I'm going to be pushing soon." I felt incredibly in tune with my body. Someone asked if we wanted to wake up the kids and bring them in, but I was so focused and told them to wait until after the baby came. Another contraction and I reached down and could feel a little bit of the baby’s head and began to feel the burning sensation, even though the head was not crowning yet. I mentioned this too. Derek was behind me and he reached down so we could catch the baby together. Poor guy, he couldn’t see a thing because my bottom was so low to the ground, so he didn’t have any visual to help him and found that first feeling of fluid and mucus and a headful of baby hair to be a bit overwhelming. But with a quick glance at our midwife (who was sitting next to him) he continued on. I had another contraction and I felt the ring of fire. I knew at once that I could push hard and get the head out quickly but I also knew that would be bad for me. Instead, with my hand in Derek's, we supported the baby’s head and I breathed it out slowly through the whole contraction. 

After the head was out I raised my bottom up a little bit, and with another huge contraction and a loud groan I pushed the baby’s body out. Derek had the baby's head in his hand and as the body came out he moved his arm towards my front, so the baby kind of somersaulted onto his arm underneath me. As soon as the baby was out I reached down and pulled him up to my chest. Ronan was born at 6:42 am.

My mom woke up the kids immediately and brought them in. Lily remained asleep in my mom's arms, but Aden came right to us and looked at Ronan in awe. "I never thought he would get here!" he said. We laughed because we had all felt that way! 

Ronan began to nurse and my midwife gave me a tincture to help prevent a hemmorhage like I'd had after Lily's birth. Then we all admired Ronan for a few minutes until the afterpains began. I told my body not to bleed and reassured everyone one that this time, the placenta was coming out easily and I was not going to bleed because I wanted to get right into bed with my baby and nurse him and get to know him. Derek and the midwife helped Aden cut the cord (Lily was still half-asleep and didn't want to have anything to do with it). Then Derek held Ronan while my mom, sister, and midwife helped me squat over a bowl. The placenta came out easily with some trailing membranes and then one big clot after it, then no more. And just as I had predicted, I got up and climbed into bed and sat there for the next few hours, nursing Ronan and gazing at his beautiful face. I felt amazing.

I was (and still am) in complete and total awe of this perfect birth. It was an experience unlike any other, even my previous homebirth. Derek and I will never forget what it felt like as we brought our baby into the world together. I think that miraculous moment will bring tears to my eyes for the rest of my life! As the saying goes, Ronan's birth was "well worth the wait." :) 

Happy one-month-birthday, Ronan!